Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Where Have I Been?

It's been two years since I've posted and I feel like I owe an explanation...

After my pet passed away I just lot any motivation to do anything creative. It took me the longest time to pick up my crochet/knitting needles and even longer to make any art. I got lost in my uni work, trying to make the most out of my undergrad years, and attempting to make extra money.

When I finally got out of this 'blackhole' I just wasn't sure what to post on here anymore. I didn't want to do post anything personal in case a colleague or future employer saw it (even though none of my posts are NSFW lol). Most of my readers came from Tumblr and I stopped being a frequent user of that site back in 2016 as well, so I was just feeling like ?? about posting.

BUT! I love to write and I really want to get back into posting again...I just gotta figure out what to post.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

When You Lose Your Bestfriend

Like probably anyone else I grew up loving animals, especially dogs and cats. As I got older I never understood how or why people kissed their pets or showed that much affection until I got my very own. When you get your own pet you learn how to love them unconditionally. It's now your child. I know many people still get offended when someone considers their pet their child, but honestly who are you to judge? It's 2016 and not everyone wants to have a human child, as of right now I know I certainly do not.

Today marks one month since we had to put my baby down. Words cannot describe how helpless and shitty one feels when making this decision. I had many dreams of him since that night and I hope they never stop occurring. This little dude helped me through so much, it fucking sucks cause I need him the most right now. I hate expressing any emotion other than happiness. I've always been the type to bottle it in, but around my boy I felt so comfortable letting the pain go. He helped me during my last breakup. He helped me overcome the stress at school. This year I was thinking of training him to become a therapy dog but I was so nervous it would erase his silly personality (which helped me the most). I never ever thought I'd lose him at such a young age. It's every pet's parent's nightmare. I couldn't even watch any movie with a dog in it because I was scared something bad would happen to the dog and I actually cried anytime I saw videos of sad dogs (still do who am I kidding lol).

I wanted to make this post to help anyone out, whether it's in the present or future.

First and foremost, let it ALL out. You are not weak or stupid (or anything else that's negative) for crying/being angry/acting crazy over the loss of your beloved baby. If someone makes a nasty comment about it tell them to shut the hell up! The night we had to make that decision I was so sure I was going to have to go to the hospital because I could not control my breathing. Your emotions will overtake you, letting it out will make you feel a little better I promise.

Also, and I really fucking hated this but, not everyone will understand what you are going through. There are people out there who think it's weird/gross/unnecessary to own a pet and honestly I want them to jump off a cliff but hey just ignore them or tell them to shut the hell up...again.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

East Coast Summer

A love/hate relationship.
I love that you make my hair texture pop and more voluminous, but I hate that I can't keep it down because it makes me sweaty.
I love the tan you give me but I hate that I feel like fries being dipped into hot oil.
I love that I don't have to wear layers, but I hate that I can't wear dark colors/tight clothing or else my back sweat shows.
I love the glow I get, but I hate that it's actually the humidity.
Almost everyone anticipates your beautiful return, what we forget is that you're a humid mess.
May & June are bearable, but July makes me pray Winter comes early.
Don't get me started on August, September, & October. August teases you with warm weather you can actually breathe in. September & October tricks you into thinking you can wear your cute fall outfits, but by afternoon you're halfway into a puddle of sweat & full of regret.

...but I can't keep talking badly about you because by February I will be crying for you again.